There is no established process that guarantees you will progress through the steps when dealing with a significant change, but there are some things you can do to help you gain control and as you begin on your journey to acceptance.

1. Plan Ahead – Prepare for the Unknown. Anticipate that you may encounter some new things or need to create a different approach. This does not mean that you should anticipate every potentially negative thing that could happen and prepare for it. Just go forward knowing that there could be associated events attached to the main one. Don’t panic or over think this, but do approach this as just another piece of the larger puzzle. Add it to the list of things to consider or work on. Last by very most certainly not least; remember to eat, stay hydrated, and allow your mind to rest so you can sleep. Your health needs to be part of your plan.
2. Take Time to Reflect. Think about what you like, what you want to change and what is truly important to you. Make a list and evaluate your progress weekly. Again reflect to unpack where you have been but don’t stay in the past. Think about what you learned, or what you might like to avoid.
3. Reframe Your Thinking or Self-Talk. As hard as it may be to be kind to yourself, that is exactly what you need to do. We are all very hard on ourselves. Start immediately changing the thoughts you generate about yourself, the way you look, think and react. I only recently started doing this. It has been a game changer for me. Use the same self talk for yourself as you would for a friend or colleague. It takes some practice to be nice to yourself, but it is a habit worth developing. For me this was such a challenge, I started watching Joel Osteen everyday. There were days when his encouraging words were the only positive messaging I received. His daily 30 minute helped me change my self-talk. Find something that you can read and or listen to that feeds you with some positivity.
4. Surround Yourself with Comfort. Rearrange some of the visual images you have in your living space. Buy some candles and or scented lotion. Gather things that can be easily accessible and create some calmness and comfort.
5. Count Your Blessings. Make a list, especially on days when you are struggling. Start a journal. I have found it to be helpful to have a free writing journal and also a special journal for doing weekly progress checks and making a list of blessings anytime I was in doubt. I also included things that I could do to be a blessing to others. Remember to continually count your blessings and keep track of progress (even if the progress is very slight). This allows for you to look back week over week, month over month, and “see” the difference you are making. It may take time for others to notice. Being kind to yourself means that you need to self promote. Tell your self you are doing a great job! As strange as it sounds, the more you begin to speak positively to your self, the better chance you will begin believing it.
6. Create a “New Norm” Routine. What I like about this is; whatever changes or routine you decide to create is within your control. Since it is completely yours, you can revise as necessary without needing to justify to anyone else. It can be something as simple as where you store your toothbrush or what time you eat meals, exercise, wake up go to bed, all of the above or something completely different. It can be a very empowering thing to do. I highly recommend it!